Ptolemaic Times, Issue #3

EDITORIAL: TIME TO HIT THE KEYBOARD!

OK, you players who haven't written yet--what are ya waitin' for--a pyramid to fall on ya? Whether you are a Hegemon looking for Generals or a General looking for employment, this group is made for communication. If you don't have a recruitment strategy yet, why not write and tell us about yourself as a wargamer? Have you played Ancients before? Done JodieCon? Gonna be at Historicon for the practice game?

Let us hear from you! You can role play your character or ask for information. Give us a reason to join/hire you, or tell us you are replacing someone who can't make it.

HEGEMONS PLAN WAR MANEUVERS

Ptolemy (Charley from Brooklyn, Da Center of Da Known Woild) and Eumenes (Bruce the Nice Canadian) will be trying out CLASSICAL HACK this Sunday with Charley's 54mm figures. While Brucie suggested using ACW figures, Charley thought that perhaps his Medievals might fit in better...well, how about an alternate time track where the Classical world did not fall, and they invented Medieval technology but still had their Classical strategic smarts? Anyone have an comments or tips on the rules? Phil? By the way, we'll both be at Historicon.

"POP" QUIZ ON ANCIENT TIMES

Even in the 21st Century, we remain fascinated with the Ancient World. Popular culture reflects this in many ways. Besides William Shatner playing Alexander the Great in an unsold TV pilot, what other evidences of 'the good old days' surround us?

1. What hit song with an Egyptian theme was first popularized by a comedian with a variety number on TV?
2. Name the song with a pun on an Egyptian theme that climbed to the top of the country music charts before crossing over to mainstream pop.
3. This film showed a pagan culture worshipping the memory of Alexander the Great as a god.
4. What Broadway musical referenced a theme (animal, vegetable, or mineral) used to defeat the Egyptians in an ancient battle by their enemies?
5. Which RECENTLY designed board game takes the Ancient Middle East as its theme, covering 1500-300 BC and many different peoples (Hint: no, not Civilization or History of the World--much newer).
6. Which RECENTLY designed card game covers ancient peoples including the Babylonians, Egyptians, Greeks, Romans, and ATLANTEANS?
7. In the new remake, for what crimes was THE MUMMY punished in ancient times by being buried alive for eternity?
8. What tribal people were slaughtered by Romans at the beginning of the new film GLADIATOR.
9. Which TV show makes total hash out of ancient histories including Assyrian, Biblical, Celtic, Chinese, Greek, Indian, Roman, Russian, Scandanavian, and others--yet thousands watch it anyway!
10. And now, for those of you with contempt for "pop" culture, a Pointy Headed Intellectual Question! The downfall of Bronze Age chariot warfare circa 1200 B.C. was brought about by:
    1. Natural disaster
    2. The development of the javelin
    3. The destruction of sophisticated centralized empires
    4. The invasion of barbarians from the North

(Answers at end of issue)

SO WHY SHOULD I HIRE YOU?

Generals Wanted: Employable Strategoi should send their gaming/military/history/love of blood n' guts to Ptolemy, Supreme Warlord of Egypt. Great pay, action and adventure! Retirement benefits to widows and other survivors! Those allergic to sand or elephants need not apply!

Ptolemy
Lord of the Desert
Protector of Pyramids
Etc., Etc., and Etc.
"Look On My Works, Ye Mighty, and Despair..."

HEGEMON POSITIONS VACANT

Dear Zeus,.

Yea, and if the territories of Antipater remain unclaimed, let them be given to Eumenes! And truly, if the realm of Craterus be plunged into anarchy and rebellion, let Ptolemy be given sway there to extend the rule of law.

So mote it be, that if there be nought but a BUNCH OF CHICKENS out there in the wargaming community, who will not take up the challenge of arms, let these lands be impartially given to those who know how to rescue them from anarchy!

WITH THE STRENGTH OF RA!

ANSWERS TO "POP" QUIZ

1. King Tut/Steve Martin ("He gave his life for tourism!")
2. Queen of Denial (Queen of De Nile)
3. The Man Who Would Be King (Kafiristan was a real place where the unbeaten pagans were finally converted to Islam by peaceful discussion, the last holdouts in the area).
4. Cats
5. Chariot Lords (Clash of Arms Games)
6. Res Publica (Reiner Knezia, Avalance Press)
7. Loving the Queen and killing the Paroah (At least it wasn't for jaywalking)
8. The Germans
9. Xena Warrior Princess
10. Some historians would say E) All of the above. One who would say B) along with new close order infantry tactics is: "The End of The Bronze Age: Changes In Warfare and the Catastrophe Circa 1200 BC" by Robert Drews (Priceton Univ. Pr, 1993). (So relax and have a brewski).

For Extra Credit: Which Ancient Civilization at that time was the only one to fight off the invaders?

Extra Credit Answer: Hey, are you kiddin'--who writes this newsletter? Egypt, of course! When in doubt, cry "Egypt!" So may it be written; so may it be done!