Odes
King Ptol
by Charlie "Ptolemy" Elsden (to the tune of "King Tut," by Steve Martin)
Back when he was a gen'ral
Big Alex made him smile
He said: "Ptolemy my boy
You're gonna rule the Nile."
King Ptol!
He was not dismasted
King Ptol!
Found a dynasty that lasted
So he got a hand ta
Move to Alexan'dra
Alex made him Pharoah
Ruled the desert there-o
King Ptol!
Then all the Successors
Fought over golden thrones
He got his big professors
To make Egypt his own
King Ptol!
A pink giraffe he's ridin'
King Ptol!
The others they are hidin'
So he got a hand ta
Move to Alexan'dra
Alex made him Pharoah
Ruled the desert there-o
King Ptol!
So when he'd built his land up
And established his house
He sent those elephants a-packing
As if they'd seen a mouse
King Ptol!
His Phalanx is advancin'
King Ptol!
Its time to start the dancin'
Chariots in motion
Go get the sun tan lotion
King Ptol!
Ptol! Ptol! Ptol! Ptol!
Ptol! Ptol! Ptol! Ptol!
King Ptol!
My favorite Egyptian
King Ptol!
Ain't he just so bitchin?
Alex made him Pharoah
Ruled the desert there-o
King Ptol!
When historians remember
Any of those other guys
We wrap them up in bandages
And poke 'em in the eyes
King Ptol!
To victory he's zoomin'
King Ptol!
He's much more than human
Alex made him Pharoah
Ruled the desert there-o
Chariots in motion
Go get the sun tan lotion
To victory he's zoomin'
He's much more than human
KING PTOL!
(He gave his life for JodieCon)
Ode to Athena
by Cary "Peucestes" Blood
A goddess strode the field today
smiting Ptolemy's men
A goddess lead the charge today
and hacked and slew again
Her javelins felled ten elephants
her fury rent shields apart
Her sword destroyed five chiliarchs
...her war-filled smile stole my heart...
Her shins awash in blood and gore
a golden breastplate, black hair aflame
Warrior goddess destroying my Hegemon's foe
...black eyes driving me insane!...
Goddess of Righteous Warfare
who devours a phalanx whole
Know that today as I watched you fight
...I offered you my soul...
Athena, Wisdom and Valor be thine,
Goddess of the Hunt, please hear my prayer
When at last I die on some Syrian field
...I hope to find you there...
In the final moments of the battle in Syria between the forces of Pithon/Craterus vs Ptolemy/Perdiccas, Athena, who walked among men, achieved glory that was overlooked by most strategos and hegemons (as we scrambled to pick up figures and flee to our various homes). Jessica Viverito pierced Ptolemy's phalangite line in two places! Her men faced elephants and killed a stand+, fighting to the last man in the face of such terrible beasts. She is truly the goddess of war! and her glory needed to be sung!!!
Peucestes, servant of Pithon
Ptolemy's Reply to "Ode to Athena"
Re: The Recent Assertion of Peucestes that my line was in fact pierced by a woman warrior!
*To Peucestes, Who Keeps Buggin' Me!*
SO LET IT BE WRITTEN; SO LET IT BE DONE
No Goddess of Wisdom
Would want to fight the Pharoah
Says King Ptolemy of Egypt
I tell you--I was there-o!
Some Amazon Queen frightening
An expert at die rolling
Did damage I admit it
For me the bell was tolling!
As for new pal Jesse
If you're not feeling to harried
Take the next train to Brooklyn
If you want to get married!
PTOLEMY REX
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